New Slang

I made it to Melbourne and I am obsessed with my apartment. Once I get my internet set up I will give you a grand tour. In the meantime...

Words to be eliminated from my vocabulary:

• Cell phone
• Tank top
• Sweatpants

More to come.

Just a Quickie

• Flights (of the 13-hour variety) are best spent with an empty row, allowing for optimal leg extension.

• Hello, Dubai! Where the airport doesn't get busy until midnight.

• Emirates Airlines is Lindsay Approved. Personal TV screen (meaning unlimited movies, music, and television all at your individual disposal), brunch, comfy seats (even in economy class), neat uniforms... need I say more?

• One thing I always loved in Philly was being stopped in the street for directions. It meant that I looked like I had some sort of clue as to where I was going. I just got stopped by a woman who asked if the gate where I was sitting was destined for Melbourne. It felt so cool!

Honestly though, who can tell one white girl from another, especially with mouths closed? She probably thought I was an Aussie... AH.

En Route.

Well, my journey has officially begun. I'm sitting in the Philadelphia airport waiting for my first (of three) flights. After a surprising, unwelcomed, and unavoidable baggage fee, I made it through security with ease.

Let's just say my bags cost me (uh, I mean, hi Dad! Love you!) more than half of my plane ticket. I would have shipped a bunch of stuff if I had known the fees were going to be so outrageous, but the information I found was (apparently) unclear. Obviously. Never again!

My last few weeks in Philly were perfect. I got to see everyone that I wanted to see at least once, which is all that I could ask for.

My intinerary for the next few days is as follows: Philadelphia to JFK to Dubai to Melbourne. My internet should be set up and ready to go by the time I arrive, so I will update you with the details of my apartment and neigborhood as soon as I adjust to the time change (I'm giving myself a week).

Here's to hoping for semi-bearable flights... at least, as bearable as back-to-back 13-hour flights can be!

This Time Next Week I Won't Exist

You read the title correctly: This time next week I will be en route to Melbourne, but thanks to all those crazy time changes, there will be no Tuesday, February 17th, 2009 for me!

Thanks for bearing with my lack of posting as of late. I have finally gotten over the intense anxiety attacks that were driving me mental. No magic pills (although I did unsuccessfully beg for some Xanax). I just stopped listening to everyone else. The anxiety other people were having for me was what ultimately made me act like a crazy.

I do have some very good news to report: At the end of last week I got an apartment! It's in a neighborhood called Brunswick. I am two blocks off of Sydney Road, the main strip. My girlfriend from New Zealand will be arriving on Saturday, and I will be there the next Wednesday. It's so unbelievable. I'm finished work. I've begun packing. I'm basically just running around seeing people and buying last-minute items (like a Kindle).

On a less cheery note, I'm sure everyone has heard about the awful fires in Victoria. I am thankful that none of my friends over there have been injured or have lost anything. Upon arrival, I hope to see what I can do to help out locally. Aside from it being a good deed, I feel like it will be a good way to get involved in the community. I will be sure to keep you updated.

Six days and counting!

The Ultimate Hostess Workout (Winter Edition)

Are you working 60 hours a week hanging coats and smiling until your cheeks hurt? Are you lacking the time and money to spend on a gym membership? If so, this is the workout for you.

For best results: wear (at least) 3" heels, work in a restaurant with multiple floors, and have co-workers that don't hustle.

THE ULTIMATE HOSTESS WORKOUT
(WINTER EDITION)

• Warm Up:
• Sit on a backless chair (ex. bar stool) to make confirmation calls, forcing core stabilization to maintain posture.
• Stretch out arms reaching for the hole puncher, pens, and the continually ringing second phone line that everyone else refuses to answer. Repeat 50 times.
• Jog up and down two flights of stairs with two to-go bags full of clean towels to restock the bathrooms. Repeat three times per restroom.
• Jump up onto the bar, rewrite the chalkboard, jump down off of the bar. Get that heart rate pumping! Repeat as mistakes in the menu are found throughout the morning and as Management decides the wine boards need tweaking.
  
• Workout:
• Complete two laps around the restaurant per server per table sat.
  
• After lifting three 10 lb. coats onto one hanger, lift above head and hook onto coat rack. Repeat approx. 100 times.
  
• Per every five hangers, use body to push coats closer together (to make room for more furs). Tighten up biceps and triceps for accelerated results.
• Run up and down main stairs and kitchen stairs twice per half hour (for status check and bathroom check). Complete seven sets.
• Carry six trays of dirty dishes while bussers watch you do their job.
• Cool Down:
• Drag two 15 lb. bags of dirty linen across the length of the restaurant to the linen closet.
• Return coats - be sure to keep arm muscles tense.
• Return to bar stool, tightening core, and enter in guest notes for the evening.
• Triumphantly throw heels on the floor, walk over to the bar, and bat eyelashes for a glass of wine.

Congratulations! You've just experienced my life.